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Elfies: When your Elf on the Shelf snaps a self portrait with you asleep in the background which is also the last photo alive of you and we never caught the elf that did it but they all do so what are we gonna do if the market demands it we supply it coming soon to a theater near you

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memorial day weekend

thinking about that time on birdsite

i said something like "semantic, accessible html is hard and important, but it isn't a full time job" and got quote retweet dragged

friendly reminder that the person on twitter that is perfectly unreasonable is a bot directed to put you on tilt and you let it

a dog is basically a roomba with less vendor lock in

interaction with the bartender

me: maker's mark with a splash of triple sec

bartender: i'll be honest no one has ever ordered one of these before

me: it's a poor man's old fashioned

bartender: ... i could make you a real old fashioned

---

i know they're the same price but i really like the simplicity of a two ingredient cocktail that is 80% accurate to an old fashioned that is still better than some of the worst ones i've been delivered.

it doesn't hurt that the result is extremely consistent across bars and tenders

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went to my normal comedy show on wednesday night.

one of the comics gave me a ticket to a show last night.

my dumbass showed up at the door trying to use the ticket not knowing it was a flyer.

got it--ish

just doesn't show up in spotlight and probably never will again

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I let the "managed software center" at work "upgrade firefox" and now it is deleted and i cannot seem to reinstall it.

feeling jaded is looking in the mirror and letting your eyes relax and only seeing past yourself

the fantastic news is i am a bot.

i was founded by billionaires and primarily exist to serve their interests... which are kinda your best interests...

or else.

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