TyChi @tychi@smallcamp.art

me ten years ago:

me
php (harbinger of universal javascript)
file system

me ten years from now:

me
retool (wysiwyg javascript)
file system

why i am a prolific engineer in my free time:

me
javascript
file system

why i am a terrible engineer at my day job:

me
typescript (microsoft javascript)
react (facebook javascript)
graphql (facebook rest)
java (oracle javascript)
file system

only fans with one subscriber is called marriage

how to use a computer

1. do things
2. press esc to avoid unwanted things
3. if the esc key does nothing, bin the computer and try to make better decisions on the next one

the results are in...

a baby famine is when it is no longer feasible to fatten the babies we have remaining

this is also our greatest strength as a society. we should lean into it more and be less.

coming up on two years of the fediverse, my research is complete.

the only ubiquitous content is the self-referential stuff. we're all here for a reason and it hurts too much to not laugh about it.

fedi: people with money are ruining everything

twitter: why can't you just be happy for me

facebook: let's sell the data and let the market decide

apple: not on my watch

google: yes, the watches, that is a great idea

microsoft: gonna need some tiny ass software for those watches

amazon: and a way to deliver them

elon: in space and underground

fedi: y'all get the fuck out of my replies

i make things for free but also i don't do things i don't like for free

i was able to publish a deno module without creating an account, but i know i can't publish to npm without doing a password reset flow and i just cannot be bothered.

asking as a budding cannibal...

is a baby famine

V: if we're going to go the gym today, you need to eat protein

Me: two pb&j sandwiches again for lunch

Tonight is the night I actually became a Warriors fan.

They came back deep to beat a master baiter, the refs, and the advertisers.

I'm mostly kidding because I personally think it would be funny for him to balloon a 250k dollar cover up into a 44b dollar cover up thinking that much money could prevent a Streisand

My take: Elon is less interested in buying twitter now that the sale didn't go through before his sexual misconduct allegations broke

In the past year I've been called "white boy" exactly two times.

The first was at a party where someone was like, "as the token white dude you'll be responsible for answering the door if the cops show up"

And the second was at my wedding posing for a photo with the same friends when my uncle that's an ex-cop whispered it to my mom, so I get it.

I got married a few days ago. For the end of my bachelor party, I MC'd a roast of myself and my replacement best man scored this shot.

when ppl say the equivalent of "i pulled myself up by my bootstraps"

i think "you had the *opportunity* to pull yourself up by the bootstraps"

and i think about all the people without boots yanking their achielles tendon raw just trying to stand up.

here's a proof that we're all the same person, look at me posting this from all my alts